A narcissistic parent is a parent influenced by narcissism or a narcissistic personality disorder. Parrents who are usually narcissistic are exclusively and possessively close to their children and may be very jealous, and threatened by, the independence of their growing children. The result may be what has been termed a narcissistic attachment pattern, with a child who is thought to exist solely to satisfy the wants and needs of the parents. Usually parents try to force their children to treat themselves as if they are their parent's doll, or subject to punishment such as emotional abuse. Relative to developmental psychology, narcissistic parenting will adversely affect children in the areas of reasoning, emotional, ethical, and social behavior and attitudes as they mature. In the world of narcissistic parenting, personal boundaries are often ignored in order to form and manipulate children to meet the expectations of parents.
Narcissists with low self-esteem feel the need to control how others perceive them, fearing they will be blamed or rejected and personal shortcomings exposed. They absorb themselves, partly to the point of greatness; and preoccupied with protecting their self-image, they tend to be inflexible, and lack the empathy necessary to raise a child.
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Characteristics
The term "narcissism," as used in Sigmund Freud's clinical studies, records observations of behaviors such as self-enlargement, self-esteem, vulnerability, fear of loss of compassion and failure, reliance on defense mechanisms, perfectionism and interpersonal conflict.
Narcissism tends to play between generations, with narcissistic parents producing narcissistic or codependent children in turn. Whereas confident parents, good enough parents, can allow a child in autonomous development, narcissistic parents may instead use the child as a means of promoting their own image. Fathers who care about self-improvement, reflected and admired by a son, can leave the latter feeling a dummy for his father's intellectual/intellectual demands.
To maintain their self-esteem, and protect themselves vulnerable, narcissists need to control the behavior of others, especially their children who are seen as an extension of themselves. So narcissistic parents can talk about carrying a torch, maintaining a family image, or making a proud father or mother and possibly denouncing their children for showing weakness, too dramatic, or not meeting the standards of what to expect. Consequently, narcissistic children learn to play their roles and to perform their particular skills, especially in public or for others; but usually do not have many memories of feeling loved or appreciated for being themselves, but relating their love and appreciation experiences to match the narcissistic parental demands.
Narcissistic parents who are destructive have a consistent pattern of being the focus of attention, exaggerating, looking for praise and putting their children. Penalties in the form of mistakes, criticism or emotional blackmail, and attempts to induce guilt, can be used to ensure adherence to the wishes of parents and their need for narcissistic supplies.
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Narcissistic children
Children of temperamental parents who are resilient and resist against supporting others at home. They observe how selfish parents get their needs met by others. They learn how to manipulate and use mistakes to make parents get what they want. They develop a false self and use aggression and intimidation to get their way. Some of the most common problems in narcissistic parenting are due to the lack of appropriate and responsible nurturance that ultimately contribute to feelings of emptiness, insecurity in love relationships, imaginary fears, distrust in others, identity conflicts and inability to develop a different existence. from parents.
Children who are sensitive and guilty in the family learn to meet the needs of parents for satisfaction and try to get love by accommodating the wishes and wishes of parents. Normal feelings of children are ignored, rejected and ultimately suppressed in an attempt to gain "love" of parents. Guilt and shame keeps the child locked up in the capture of this development. Their aggressive drives and anger become separated and not integrated with normal development. These children develop a false self as a defense mechanism and become codependent in relationships. Children's unconscious rejection of their true self perpetuates a cycle of self-hatred, fearful of their true self-awakening.
Narcissistic youths often cause children to be victims or bullying itself, hypersexual in nature (encouraged by the media), have poor or excessive body image, tendency to use and/or abuse of drugs or alcohol, body modifications such as piercings or tattoos, or acts (in potentially dangerous ways) to be noticed.
In the literature
- Children and Lovers is thought to have explored the narcissistic mother.
- The Metamorphosis is considered to include the narcissistic father.
- The difficulty of Sylvia Plath has been attributed to the need to please a narcissistic father through public display.
- The novel Loverboy by author Victoria Redel is written from the point of view of a mother who exhibits extreme childish parenting characteristics.
See also
References
Further reading
Gardner, F 'To Encourage Himself Is My Life': Thoughts About Compliance And Sacrifice As A Consequence Of Malignant Identity With Narcissistic Parents Journal of English Psychotherapy Volume 21 Issue 1, Pages 49 - 62 (2006)
External links
- Malkin C 8 Common Effects Of Narcissistic Nurse Huffington Post 27 Oct 2016
- Hall JL Psychological War Parents Narcissistic Parenting: Nurturing, Impressing, and Blaming Huffington Post 09 May 2017
Source of the article : Wikipedia
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